Akasuki randomness
by orochimaruiscool
Summary: A random story about an akatsuki mission where eveyone acts insane. Will it be sucsessful, or will it all be shoved in a can with a blimp?
1. Chapter 1

There was a loud shuffling of papers as the akatsuki leader was about to say what he had gathered everyone for. Everyone was talking so loud it seemed like there was a siren blaring in their ears, so they spoke louder, and louder, and then it was time for him to speak.

"I have gathered you here to-" The leader stopped short, for none could hear him.

"I have gathered you here to-" He spoke louder, but still none could hear.

"I have gathered you here to-" He started again, practically screaming. None heard.

It was then that he blew his last fuse and jumped onto the table screaming.

"I have gathered you here to- Tobi, get that stick out of my eye!" Everyone turned to Tobi, who was withdrawing a dogwood stick from the leader's eye.

"Anyways, I have gathered you here to declare that we will now have a pancake Tuesday, casual Friday, and dance-off Wednesdays. I also declare that Deidara can blow up as many things as he wants, Itachi gets a free weasel poster, Kisame shall be beaten by a fish, and Tobi will be locked in a closet," Said the leader. "Hold on, someone wrote on this," He noticed. As it turns out, Deidara and Itachi had scribbled all over his papers, making it say what they wanted it to.

"We have a very special mission for Tobi, Deidara, Zetsu, Itachi, and Kisame. You are to go on a suicide mission in the land of darkness. You probably have never heard of the land of darkness, right? I will give you maps on the way out. The mission is to find a demon rabbit and bring it back here. The most distinctive things about it are the fact that it has black fur, and four ears. Bring it here," Explained the leader.

Later that night after the meeting, the janitor was sweeping the floors when he heard a weak "Hey, get me out of here," and banging coming from the closet.

The akatsuki leader, who argued upon letting him out, did not discover Tobi until the next day.

"Over here, I think I found something," said Zetsu, who was looking thru some foliage. It was rather hard finding him, for he blended in with the patch of Venus flytraps he was sitting in.

"Zetsu, that's a can," Said Deidara.

"It's an ear," Replied Zetsu "Give me something more specific that isn't a can."

"Ok, it's a TIN can," Said Deidara.

"No, wait, that's a can with a blimp in it!" Said Tobi from behind, who had somehow escaped from the closet. Everyone gave Tobi 'the look.' "It's deflated," he said, reaching into the can. Tobi then began to pull out a large, plastic sheet, which on the side said 'blimp 3000.'

"See?"

Everyone nodded. They continued nodding until they noticed Itachi hopping around on all fours. "Little bunny FooFoo, hopping in the forest," He said.

"What are you doing, Itachi?" asked Kisame.

"If were looking for a rabbit, we have to think like one," Itachi replied.

"Oh," said everyone.

In 5 minuets everyone was hopping around, squeaking and such.

"Little bunny FooFoo, hopping in the fore- THINK FAST!" Screamed Tobi, and threw a rock.

"Ouch, it's in my eye!" screamed Itachi, who now had a black eye.

"Your gunna die!" Screeched Kisame. Then the two began doing the hamster dance. Deidara then ran up to Kisame and screamed at him like he was a ten- foot worm.

"I thought we had something special!" Yelled Tobi. Kisame then screamed and ran around like a bomb was about to go off. He ran until he tripped over a tree root and fell flat on his face.

"Over there!" Said Deidara, pointing to a small, extremely cute rabbit that was completely black. It had four ears.

"Oh, it's so cute!" Said Zetsu. "This is what we came for!" The rabbit then ran over to Deidara and bit him.

"Oh, how dare you!" He screamed "Im going to bite you back for that!" He screamed, chasing the rabbit. He never succeeded.

"Well, That went well, you brought it back," Said the Akatsuki leader once they had returned. He smiled at them and pushed them all into a closet at locked the door.

Later that night, the janitor came to sweep the floors when he heard a ghastly 'someone help, get us out,' and no one saw that janitor again.


	2. Chapter 2

Missing janitors were one thing. The akatsuki locked in a closet were another. The leader had no intensions of letting them out anytime soon. No one really knows why, but Itachi's guess is he rewards everyone like this.

"Hey," He began to ask, but decided to say something else. "Ever heard the happy song?" Half of them nodded.

"I made a new version of it," said Itachi.

"Spare us!" everyone screamed, and Itachi took a deep breath.

"Im really happy, im sugar coated me, happy good anger bad, that's just like Tobi," Itachi began to sing, as everyone screamed and covered their ears at the tone of Itachi's singing.

"I am really special, cause there's only one Sasori, Look at my smile, Zetsu's so dang happy, the people are jealous of Itachi, these are my love handles, and I am not fat," He continued.

"Spare us!" Screamed the 'missing' janitor, who ran into the door and bounced off mumbling about Liam Lynch's 'Happy song.'

"How are we to get out of here?" asked Zetsu.

"Zetsu's right, we need out or were going to starve," agreed Deidara.

"Well maybe some of us will," informed Zetsu. Deidara smacked him upside the head.

"At least we have each other, a few buckets, some bug spray, extra cloaks, and- Tobi, you know you're eating a mop, right?" said Kisame, turning to Tobi, who, in the dim light of the closet, was in fact eating a mop.

"Why are you eating a mop?" asked Kakuzu, who spoke for the first time in this story. Woooow.

"Tobi is being a good boy and eating a mop so you get out alive. Good boys aren't cannibals," Said Tobi.

"I dare you to say that again!" said Zetsu, who was biting Itachi's arm.

"Ok, let's just put our differences aside and work together on getting out and Zetsu, your drooling on my arm," Said Itachi, giving Zetsu 'The Look.'

By that night, almost all were driven into insanity by each other. Tobi continued announcing that he was a good boy, Zetsu's leaves continued getting shoved into Hidan's eye, Itachi did the hamster dance, Kisame began dancing with a mop, Deidara attempted to blow the door, Kakuzu's rage was building, and Sasori tried melting the door. His attempts never succeeded.

"ugh, there's a bucket on my head again," Said Zetsu, backing up. His leaves plunged deep into Hidan's eye.

"Auhg, Zetsu, your stabbing my eye! Again!" He screamed, and bumped into Itachi, who was doing 'ring around the rosy' with Kisame and a mop.

"If you bump into me one more time, I swear, Itachi, I'll nail you to this door and Ill blow it up, unn," Said Deidara threateningly. Itachi dared to bump in the next 2 minuets.

Bump bump

"Itachi…"

Bump bump

"Ok, that's it!" Screeched Deidara. In 5 seconds flat Deidara and Sasori had welded Itachi to the door.

"ok, I think I can get us out if I melt the door," Said Sasori.

" Don't you dare!" Screamed Itachi, accidentally kicking Kakuzu.

"I say that you should," Said Kakuzu, who had been kicked in the eye. "I was tracking that dime I lost earlier, and now there's no way I can see it!"

"Not my fault you have a big head," Said Itachi, more concerned about being melted.

"ok, im going to do it," said Sasori. Deidara attempted to hand him a match. It fell on the floor.

If you are ever faced with a challenge like this, one word will NOT calm you down. That word you should prepare for if you are ever in a closet with a bunch of S- ranked criminals.

Boom.

Deidara did it.

"AAAAHHHH!!!" all of the Akatsuki screamed. Even the leader who was by now back at his house dreaming about Human/ flytrap/ Oreo people. No, wait, just Zetsu.

"Thanks a lot for dropping that, Deidara," Said Kisame, who noticed he was sitting on a cactus in a rain forest. Talk about misplaced. Kisame then walked behind a tree to get out the thorns, while everyone else noticed Itachi was missing now, and the janitor was on Zetsu's head. Zetsu, of course was trying to close his leaves, as Deidara sat the janitor on a clay rocket.

XXX

"get me down from here!" screamed Itachi, whose door was working as a hang glider.

XXX

To be continued…


End file.
